Saturday, June 28, 2008   Each morning and evening I'm doing the Kabbalistic Ana beko'ach prayer. After its first verse I'm asking archangel Michael to arrange specific things for me and for my loved ones. One of these things is to receive energies from him that will bring order in my body. Another request concerns the activation of my inner healing powers. Wonderfully orchestrated life brought me the key to radical health changes some weeks ago. Since then I'm clearing my emotional cellar and mental ceiling. I became acquainted with Thought Field Therapy and I'm practising it everyday after reading Roger Callahan's "Tapping the Healer Within". It looks like it's working very well for me. I'm amazed about the changes. I'm mind mapping all memories of painful incidents in my life. I'm making a "things to do"-list of them. Each unpleasant memory ( trauma, anger, guilt, anxiety, ... ), that comes floating on the surface of my consciousness, is added to this list. I'm giving these incidents - one by one - a tapping treatment. It all started with an amazing article in the monthly magazine "Share Nederland" ( the brief Dutch version of "Share International" ). This monthly is a miraculous periodical. Many articles and letters are dealing about appearances by holy men, about strange nature phenomenons and about UFO's. It's a magazine with a very high miracles standard. Often there's a piece of the unbelieving Thomas in me when I'm reading these articles, but they also do evoke in me feelings of joy and hopeful expectation. Another part of this monthly is always filled up with messages about the situation on our planet ( environmental problems, poverty, sharing prosperity, health affairs, politics, ... ). This month one of the articles was dealing about Thought Field Therapy. It was an interview with Caroline Sakai. She had been helping traumatized orphans who survived the 1994 Rwanda genocide. It was astonishing what I was reading there: such a simple method and very fast and radical effects. I instantly felt that this was the healing method that I had been waiting for all my life: the missing link. I had been very close to discovering the existence of TFT ( studying acumassage, traditional Chinese medicine and Jin Shin Jyutsu ), but for probably good reasons it stayed hidden to me until this month. Desserts are often the best. I like this one very much: a heavenly treat. I already was an admirer of the beautiful orchestration of life. Body tapping is bringing an unexpected new dimension to this awareness. I know that there's perfection in everything, but it's a great joy to be able to discover more evidence for this perfection. Gradually I'm eliminating my old painful stuff. The first days my "things to do"-list was simply and solely growing longer. Now I'm daily striping out more incidents than the amount of of new ones arising. The wonderful activity of mind mapping and body tapping has brought me a big relief. I have created much more inner space. I experience calmness and more self confidence. I've lost much of my emotional and explosive load. I hardly feel the urge anymore to react on circumstances that would easily have provoked and triggered me in the past. I just smile and enjoy it to be more balanced and to feel safe. A great deal of the old self-undermining structures and patterns seem to be vanished. What I like most about TFT are the gamut treatments: tapping with two fingers on a certain spot of the opposite hand and meanwhile making eye movements ( opening, closing, pointing them down to the left and to the right, whirling them around in a circle in two directions ), followed by humming, counting aloud and humming again. These treatments activate different areas of the brain. The first days I experienced troubles in whirling around my eyes, particularly in the 10-12 hr / 300 - 360 degrees zone. In iridology this area is correlating with the head ( the brains for instance ). I immediately knew that this was related to my 1975 head injury ( as a result of too much wildness and a doorpost in the way of my jump ). Now - about hundred gamut treatments further - this difficulty seems to be solved. Reasons to be cheerful !!

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

  One day I ended up in a factory ( very dirty work in 3 shifts; thought I was landed in hell; that's where I really learned to pray ). I had been on the dole for some years after a divorcement, after quitting a very calm and good paid municipal office job as a traffic engineer which I had for more than a decade, and after a removal to another part of the country. The patience with me of the unemployment authority was at an end. I was told that I had to accept the first job offer that would come on my path, otherwise their payments would stop.
15 years later I'm still working for the same company. I worked my way up to the function of customer quality engineer. I learned a lot about myself and about life. Not bad at all as an experience, but ...

I still feel being trapped into something that hasn't anything to do with my real destination in life. I try to be happy and to make a virtue of necessity, but the feeling of being locked up in a useless treadmill is often too overwhelming. People get crushed and teared asunder in this dangerous place. The working circumstances are very unhealthy and unpleasant for everyone. And what the company is manufacturing doesn't contribute in any way to a more beautiful world.

Looking at my situation from another point of view, it's possible that I still might have found a connection with my real life destination. I devoured a lot of books about creating our own reality. So far, it didn't help me to free me from my current situation and to bring me into a new reality with pleasant ingredients.
Succeeding in finding the solution to this might well be a very important part of my real destination. Mastering this situation, passing this proficiency test, would make me a real expert. I need this Houdini escape act in order to be able to reach a new level of awareness and skillfulness. It's the next step in my healing training course. I have to look at it being a challenge and opportunity instead of something sheer terrible.

The solution lies in the images in my head; not thoughts, but images; pictures of situations. That's what I believe. I left behind the idea of using affirmations. I think their value is very limited. It's the image connected to the affirmation that is effective.

Pondering on the kind of images in my head, I discovered that most of these images are related to my colleagues and to working situations; even when I'm at home. As a result of my very limited social activities next to my work ( only some shoppings and family get-togethers ) other kind of images are very rare.
Images do create real life future situations. In my case this would mean that I will never get loose from my colleagues and from the factory buildings, because they're almost constantly on my mind. Yes, it's a sick situation!

The reality of this closed circle ( almost only work related images -> creating more identical work situations -> new work images -> ... ) dawned on me this afternoon.
The tarot ( or it's better to say: the invisible angelic forces behind it ) confirmed my new insight by means of the card "The Aeon".
Yes, this was determining my situation.
I wrote earlier on Gaia about being pregnant from each other; it was about a funny incident at my work. In the comment on "The Aeon" I'm finding the same word: pregnancy. The authors are writing about a permanent pregnancy, an unconscious urge to repeat and reproduce relations.

I asked my divine helpers which image would be the best for me in order to offset this preponderance of work related images.
The answer was "Four of Disks": Power. It means "understood talents", "the light from the earth", "your private stand", "your most beautiful and powerful spot in the world".
To me this card is related to one of my favourite kabbalistic names of God: the power of prosperity ( nr.45 ). It's also related to that beautiful and powerful building in Samos-city, where I would like to live. And last but not least it's related to Gaia/Zaadz. Yes, I wrote about it earlier.

So, I'll keep on meditating upon the samech aleph lamed words; I'll keep on visualizing myself in Samos-city and I'll keep on expressing myself and connecting with friends on Gaia/Zaadz.

Images work miracles.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

 

Decided to quit my pescatarian lifestyle; think for good this time; back to being a veggie! I have been suffering a lot since I started eating fish again about one year ago. I developed terrible indigestion. I will not go in detail, but it were very painful times. Daily bouncing on my Bellicon trampoline ( since a month ) has brought me a new body awareness. Two weeks ago I suddenly experienced huge health differences between days with fish on my plate and days without. Reason enough to quit pescatarianism immediately. I'm a slow learner. Evidently I need to go through a hell of pain first to be able to learn my lessons. I'm a Pisces and therefore it seems I'm having a disposition to suffer. I have to get rid of this unhealthy trait. I was born to be a Flying Pisces; roaring with laughter above the heads of my uncles who threw me high into the air; finding again the same youth happiness, excitement and vitality on and above my trampoline mat. Returning to veganism feels a bit like being the prodigal son who is coming to his senses and returning home. The Nine of Disks - Gain: love in every relationship; in the relationship with myself, with others and with nature. No more courtships with the Angel of Death.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

  "Everyone is God speaking. Why not be polite and listen to Him?"

Words from the 14th century Sufi poet Hafiz. I found them last Sunday in Wayne Dyer's "Change your thoughts, change your life". Proper literature for Whitsun ( filled with the Holy Ghost and speaking with other tongues ). Perfect timing!

The beauty of this train of thought brought me to a standstill in Wayne's Tao book and to an intermission for reflection. I liked the poem, but I couldn't help it making an adjustment. There's a considerable amount of truth in this image, but it also seems to contain naivety.
Indeed, God is in everyone, but you should always take a good look who's talking! There's another possibility too. God might be speaking to us, but it could also be a voice from the darkness. Which source it is, is often very difficult to recognize. The forces of darkness are real masters in posing as lightforces; they are skilled actors and they easily succeed in hiding their viciousness underneath a masquerade of hypocrisy / so-called divinity.

However on a deeper level you could say that Hafiz' look is perfectly right. The darkness is a part of God's creation. The devil appears on your lifepath to make you stronger. He will try to victimize you, with the ultimate intention of God to stimulate your willpower, lightforce, vitality, alertness, immune system and consciousness. Confrontations with the darkness do fit in God's plans with us. They can help us further in becoming strong lightbearers. Refusing to learn from these experiences ( cultivating weakness and addiction to bad habits; becoming an ally and puppet of the forces of darkness in undermining the lives of others ) is an option too. We have a free choice. Everything is coming from God; and is God; but some parts of it are not meant to dwell in for a long time. That's why I like to make a distinction between the light side of God and his dark side.

Listening to someone's darkness is something you should minimize as much as possible, unless you're a lover of indigestion. Polluting your waters with the vibrations of darkness from others, doesn't help you in creating a happy body and life. Only when you have developed real healing powers and someone is asking you to bring light in his darkness, then it can be wise to listen and help. In all other situations, I recommend you to keep such contacts very superficial. Be polite ( and focused on your divine reality all the time; don't give the ego any chance to take possession of you ), but look out for the next good opportunity to move on.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

  My inner waters have been thrown into ecstasies this afternoon while I was watching a YouTube clip from a CocoRosie performance with the Amsterdam Concertgebouw Orchestra. The concert was on 29-4. The song that moved me to tears was a combination of "The Swan Lake" and "Promise". I was prepared for a pleasant meeting with CocoRosie today, but I didn't realize that it would gonna touch me so deeply. One week ago the tv host of the Dutch music show 'Vrije Geluiden' ( = "Free Sounds"; live performances, mostly jazz and classical music ) announced that CocoRosie would be in the show this morning. I felt some excitement then, because I like their music very much. I've been a fan of the sisters Bianca and Sierra since 17th December 2006 when I saw them for the first time on tv in the music documentary "The Eternal Children". I had never heard such strange, unique, magical and beautiful music before. Soon after that I bought their two albums.

This morning they performed two of their songs, "Black Rainbow" and "Good Friday". In between the songs there was a small interview with them. During the interview I became aware that there had been a concert with the Concertgebouw Orchestra.
Thank God, there is YouTube! I found some clips on it of the concert: "KCO meets CocoRosie". The first one, "The Black Swan & Promise", took me completely by surprise. I cried tears of happiness; even my midriff was shaking at the end of the song. Very impressive and powerful. This was a very blissful event. Life on earth was unprecedented beautiful during those nine minutes.

Friday, April 04, 2008

  We are all pregnant from each other! That's what I realized this morning, one day after my speech for a great colleague who was leaving us. I quoted the "Ya pihi irakema ( I love you )" part from Dr. David Servan-Schreiber's "Anticancer" book: "I am touched by your essence - a part of you is in me now, and it lives and grows there." This elicited a funny comment by one of my other colleagues. He said to me: "It sounds like you're pregnant from him. One day earlier when I was writing the speech I already knew that something like this would be coming from him. I know him well. We all bursted out laughing when it happened.

This morning I realized that there is a high standard for truth in his comment. It was only meant to have fun, but it also appears to be beautiful and fitting imagery. This is exactly what we're doing all day: strewing about seeds ( ZAADZ! ), sowing, inseminating, and simultaneously conceiving the seeds from others, getting pregnant, creating babies.

I didn't use the word "pregnant" in my speech, but I told my colleagues that we are all like communicating vessels. Every meeting of persons is a coming together of different worlds of thoughts, feelings, actions, ... . We are all under the influence of each other. No one stays the same. We are all learning and growing by meeting others. In every contact new materials and new subject matters are exchanged. We are continuously leaving traces of ourselves in the people we meet.

Today I clearly see that creation is an ongoing process which includes all individual lives. We are all creators and creations. The Big Bang never stopped. The beat still goes on. Considering everything, the game of creating life is nothing else than one big gang bang. We are all involved in this play. There are the seeds of love, light and vitality in it, but also the mortal and bad seeds of an egoistic opponent which we have to defeat. He's reponsible for rape, for undesirable pregnancies ( even without knowing that there was some kind of intercourse ), for miscarriages and for freaky creations which are causing us more trouble than happiness.

Your beloved children ( in case you're having children ) are not the only babies in your life. Every new thought is a baby; every new feeling is a baby; every new activity is a baby. We always have a choice in this. Be carefully what you create: beautiful love babies or monsters of darkness. Be also carefully by who or what you get impregnated ( unless you're happily addicted to misfortune ). Choose the ones you love to be with and enjoy the divine gang bang. Life is much more sexy than you were probably thinking.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

  I stopped drinking alcohol in 2005 while I was reading Neale Donald Walsch's "Conversations with God: an uncommon dialogue". In the chapter about Neale Donald's health problems "God" is telling him that drinking alcohol is bearing witness of very little will to live. He also states that the body wasn't meant for using alcohol. It damages the mind. The body was designed to last a lot longer than we are generally thinking. I took this for granted then.

One week ago I left this sober - and possibly wise - path. I'm ( temporary? ) converted to another health religion. I choose to experience the polymeal 'church': 150 ml wine per day, 114 g fish 4x per week, 100 g dark chocolate per day, 400 g vegetables and fruit per day, 2.7 g fresh garlic per day and 68 g almonds per day. According to the experts men on average will live near 7 years longer when they decide to follow the polymeal food pattern.

It's much too early now to report the effects of it on my body, but I can tell you this: everytime I'm consuming my 150 ml red wine, it's a very joyful moment. It's tasting delicious and it feels very good! It surely contributes to having a happy mind.

I know I have to be extra carefully during and short after my drinking ceremony. Demons may manage to strike. The alcohol might make me more open to their tricks. I think it will help to consider this daily wine ritual as a sacred moment. I will imagine being a kind of priest who's revealing the light that had been hidden in the wine.

My new polymeal path doesn't seem to be very much contrary to "La Vida Kabbalah". In his "Kabbalah for Dummies" Arthur Kurzweil mentions the drinking of wine on the Sabbath and on Purim. I feel supported by this fact.

I like it to visit my new church: the Cathedral of Ruby Cabernet. Hallelujah! Celebrate the light!

Friday, February 15, 2008

  Becoming a star
Becoming what you are
Sharing the mighty universe with other stars
Leaving the illusion
of your own insignificance;
of inaccessible lights far away;
of idolizing others and placing them on a pedestal
Instead of that:
realizing your own divine potential of stardom

We're all stars
We're all endowed with the talent
to be beautiful and pure lightbearers

We have the choice
to waste life by identifying ourselves
with the image of an extinguished star
We can also choose
the shortcircuited life
of a falling star,
but that's not what we really are

The soul train didn't bring us here
to take an ego trip;
to perform a one man show;
to become a will-o'-the-wisp to others

Real stars have One heart for the whole
They are inspirers
They instigate fellow stars
to manifest themselves
in all their magnificence

Real stars have the longe-range
and universal vision
of One big network of light;
One heavenly body of beauty
They switch on the light
wherever they go
They are satellites of love

Leave the false belief
of drowning in random chaos
Don't victimize yourself
Take up the challenge
of becoming the star you are
Shine!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

  I would easily experience some situations as "bad" in case they would happen to me. From Yehuda Berg's "book "Rebooting" I'm learning now that there are not good or bad situations. All circumstances are neutral. It is what it is. It's not good and it's not bad. It are just neutral facts we have to deal with.

Instead of calling things good or bad, we should develop our eyes and mind to be able to register the amount of Light and darkness in it; we should also develop vision and skills to transform situations to a more enlighted level. Every dark situation harbours the potential to switch on the Light. We can be healers and Lightbearers instead of staying to be naive tools of death and destruction.

We should also banish the idea of "failure" from our thoughts. Failure is related to making a distinction between good and bad situations. Instead of that it would be much healthier to look at our lives as continuous growing- and learning processes. Having difficulties is an integral part of it. Without experiencing the chaos of the darkness we wouldn't feel a strong desire and power to create an oasis of Light, order, happiness and love in our lives. Without experiencing the infiltration of darkness in our thoughts, bodies and behaviour, we wouldn't know ourselves; we wouldn't know our ego weakness ( easily to seduce and to deceive ); we also wouldn't survey and get to know our big soul potential to be winners and to be Godlike.

Exposure to the full weapon arsenal of the darkness makes us stronger. Our sparring partner will get enough chances to beat us up because of imprudent moments from our side or as a result of tricks which are new to us. That should not be a reason to feel depressed about it. It makes us more complete. It helps us to be winners the next times.

The darkness accomplishes an indispensable role in the plan of creation. We have to vanquish it in order to elevate our consciousness to a divine level. Switch on the Light brothers and sisters and let us be champs instead of will-less victims!

Saturday, January 26, 2008

  "Eating chocalate biscuits once a month the next 500 years is reason enough to be immortal" ( Quote from Leonard Orr )

This morning I finished reading Rav Berg's "Immortality, the inevitability of eternal life". More than twenty years ago I came across the idea, that it should be possible to stay alive forever, for the first time. Someone in a reiki class gave me Leonard Orr's "The common sense of physical immortality". I felt enormous happiness when I was reading this small book with its great and evoking vision. Deep inside me I registered the recognition that it's indeed total unnecessary to die. I instantly felt it was right. But this soul knowledge is hidden underneath piled up layers of illusions and lies about an inevitability of death, told by parents, family, teachers, friends and society ( insurance companies, undertakers, physicians, newspapers, television broadcasts, ... ).
It was a persistent false truth that I heard. I was bowed down by a very bad health condition at that time ( physically and mentally ) and everywhere around me I was hearing the same conviction: "We are all going to die". In order to avoid being called an idiot, the illusive safety of joining the death believers club seemed to be very tempting. 99,99% of mankind is member of the "cozy" death society and nobody likes it to be alone. In addition to this the "we're all going to die" club is proving its right time and time again: nobody of them is staying alive. Even among the believers, that it should be possible to escape from death forever, I personally didn't find one example of a long term survivor. That makes it hard to keep in touch all the time with my soul knowledge about immortality. But I succeeded so far in avoiding to knuckle down to the semblance of use and benefit of life assurance and burial policies. If I had done that, it would have felt as betrayal to my inner wisdom; as taking the highway to the nearest graveyard; as making the biggest mistake in my life; as choosing slavery to the accepted community ideas about life and dying; as signing my own death sentence.

About one year after reading Leonard Orr's book I tried to attend a lecture by him. It was in Groningen, my residential town at that time. I remember it seemed as if everything in the universe was conspiring in order to keep me away from this lecture. The first bus that was passing the busstop where I was standing, didn't stop at all. The next busdriver - ten minutes later - seemed to follow the example of his colleague. I had to run in front of his bus to stop him. The driver was very pissed off ( and so was I; in that period I was having a rather short fuse ). Once arriving in the inner town, he wilfully ignored my stop signal to get off the bus. I had to walk back from the terminus. The route to the lecture was a route with obstacles. Nevertheless I was on time. I forgot my anger and enjoyed the inspiring evening.

Leonard Orr was the first one who shaked me awake with his revolutionary and uplifting belief. My life in the eighties showed more characteristics of a desire for death than of an urge to live.
Now, twenty years later, I received the second wake up call - this time by Rav Berg. His book about immortality makes me realize how omnipresent the Opponent ( Murphy, Satan ) is and how difficult it can be to stay alive in his world of chaos, destruction and deception.
I'll take up the challenge to stay alive as long as possible.

The world is one big battlefield; not only in countries where armies are fighting, but everywhere. Even underneath the outward appearance of calmness are deadly wars going on. Beautiful lives are infiltrated and undermined. The guerrilla warfare by the forces of darkness is sowing chaos in every food chain, street, house, bed, body, family, circle of friends, community, hospital, church, hotel, train, factory, office, sports club, pub, forest, swimming pool, . . . It's an invisible Opponent. We only see the results of his work. We read about it in newspapers and watch it on tv and everytime people get hurt or die we ask ourselves why this is happening.
We will have to go into these incidents with other eyes to find the real causes behind it. Kabbalah helps us to get this new vision. It also shows us remedies and shields to protect our lives.